Sunday, 3 June 2007

Flashback #1: RRRUBIS!

[Dramatised, both for effect and because the exact details are a drunken blur].

The scene: MF and pinto sitting at the bar - the Exchange hotel, on the tail end of a long weeknight of drinking. MF is in a "couchman" period between jobs and Pinto was happy to join in after work, but tried to run away in sheer drunken terror before they even got to the Exchange. But he was dragged in for "just one more"...
Pinto: [pointing curiously] What's in that red bottle? It says Rubis! I bet it would be nice with lemonade.
MF: OK let's have Rubis.
Pinto: [to bartender, a young guy] Two Rubis with lemonade please.
Bartender: Two what?? [Pinto points]. Oh! Why would you wanna drink that shit? It's got hardly any alcohol in it and it's for chicks.
MF and Pinto, in unison: TWO RUBIS PLEASE!

The drinks are poured and served.

Pinto: Smells like strawberries!
MF: TASTES like strawberries!
Pinto: This is an oarsome [sic] drink. Very girly, but oarsome.

A few Rubii later, MF and Pinto are sitting there, randomly saying "RRRUBIS!" to the bartender and other punters at the bar. Swaying on their stools. A male customer approaches the bar, next to Pinto.

Pinto: You should order a Rubis.
Customer: A what? That stuff?
Pinto: Yeah.. here, have a try. It's Rubis!
Customer: That's a gay drink.
Customer: [to bartender] Two vodka and limes please.

MF and Pinto note the hypocrisy and begin a fit of uncontrollable laughter. They stumble out of the bar and make their way to various transport options. It's not really that late (the drinking started at 4.30pm). They scream out "RRRUBISSSS!" to random people they pass on the street. They find it so very funny, but nobody seems to share the joke.


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